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Saturday, 28 February 2015


There isn't much to say about this piece yet, other than that it's a rather rambling and perhaps a little different from the other pieces in the series, also that I may change it as I progress with the other pieces of the text so don't hate me if the prologue of the story is suddenly different; Apologies for that in advance! 

Lola Fawn was a 22-year-old woman with no real connections to the magical world upon Terra. A rather basic, even mundane, land dweller who finds joy in Science Fiction and Fantasy books, and of course, the games that should fit the very same genres. A geek by definition, but certainly not the goddess-level sexy type of geek people want you to be. She looked just like any other girl in the city with her long red hair tied on a sporty ponytail and her pale complexion fitting of the climate. It was visible by the way her body was toned that she worked out, but unfortunately she had always had a boyish figure that had shielded her from unwanted passes well until her teens. But even her boyish looks couldn't have saved her from what awaited in the real world once you grew up. Remotely pretty often meant easy target and beautiful stopped sounding like a compliment. The world around her was, on all accounts, a rather sad one filled with slurs meant to make her as a woman feel less worthy to do certain things, and the man feel dumb and merely guided by his lust.  
“You’re so lovely when you get mad!” kept ringing inside Lola’s head as she ran with music blasting through her headphones. The shame of it and not knowing if she should report what had happened to the authorities in order to have it dealt with. Even at her rather young age she had seen enough of that kind of behaviour to know that without her consent and acceptance of it, it was wrong to do towards her – or anyone uninvited for that matter. But she wasn’t a weak little girl like had been suggested. She didn’t go around crying to people about things someone had said or done to her – Especially not when others couldn’t find it in their hearts nor minds to believe her. She still remembered the first time she had complained. She’d been told to look at the way she was dressed. Had she not been asking for it? The second time it had been brushed of as a misunderstanding caused by her good nature – Had her smiles and careless comments not sent a different signal? After the third time of being questioned by people bringing up the fact of her prettiness (or more the lack there of) she had learned her lesson and stopped going to other people for help. She was her only saviour and no one else could (nor would) do for her what she had had to do for herself. Others had proven their lack of interest in the problem ages ago and she was simply done trying to make them care.
At first, she had attempted to puzzle out why people – mostly men – felt entitled to touch her and she had heard many different answers. She’d been told that it was the sunrise in her hair and the beautiful sway of her body as she walked. Some had claimed it was her rose red lips and others sworn on the power of her smile. She’d set out to weed those qualities out, one at a time. But nothing had helped, nothing had made it stop. She’d dressed badly for a while, but if just smiling could make a sober guy walk up to her uninvited and kiss her with a follow up of, “I just had to. Your smile was so beautiful”, she had no option but to hope for the best and surround herself with people she trusted. But often trust and avoiding those special situations just wasn’t enough. Time and time again her trust had been breached by the people closest to her breaking the rules of her personal space. And when they had, it had hurt the most.
But she had learned to deal with and to not be fully alone with those people – She had called it the “safety blanket person” –concept. It was what she had had to come up with after her female friends had settled down and stopped going to events with her. There had been no safety net that knew from her behaviour that she needed rescuing nor anyone to give her that excuse to run away on some call or emergency that didn’t exist. She had been on her own and had to deal because like so many others, she had received no help when something she clearly didn’t want was being done to her. Sure, there was the occasional someone who noticed and interfered but that could only take her so far, especially as the creep wouldn’t be thrown out and would only come to harass her some more as the Knight walked off. She wasn’t thankful for the knights anymore, not after all those years. They mostly just made it worse. If she found herself in a situation where she was the only one blamed for someone else’s actions towards her, she left the people behind. That was the kind of self-respect she had though it created a rather lonely road out of her life that she had despite all grown accustomed to. She would much rather be alone and happy than surrounded by people, abused and scared.
She wanted to be strong and she wanted the world to be just, but she knew “just” wasn’t always an option because everyone’s sense of justice was different. And she wasn’t certain if what she wanted was truly justice and not revenge. You see, Lola had never really had a clear moral code and in the years she’d been abused and harassed, she’d grown certain of only her doubt of the society around herself. Nothing ever really seemed right. Nothing ever really seemed just. Why did she pay a higher percentage of her wage in taxes than the people who hired her? Why did she get the blame for someone else’s actions? Why was it often uttered when someone was murdered that they shouldn’t’ve been walking there in the first place or shouldn’t’ve irritated their neighbour? She had all these questions and no answers. So she trained. Frustrations, anger, stress… Every negative feeling she ever had was dealt with through physical challenges. Today she would run faster than ever, tomorrow she’d box against a man three times her size and the day after that… Maybe she’d climb a mountain. She had grown strong and fast. She had trained long and hard, day in and day out. And every night, she’d gone for a run.
She’d grown a little reckless in her training, she knew that now. But that night, she had still thought she could outrun anyone, anywhere and anytime, which wouldn’t have been the way she saw things if she had known of the world underlying hers. She’d chosen to run the paths of the forest just outside her hotel. She’d longed to go back home to her seaside apartment and the small, but beautiful forest no more than fifty meters from it, but her current employment required that she stay in Nova, the capital of Terra. She’d grown restless in this landlocked city and her sleep was forever disturbed by the lack of the sounds she was used to. She needed the ocean, the birds, and the special kind of quiet of her own space but instead she had the endless sounds of the city from traffic to parties. She’d chosen the forest because at least there she might find some of that silence she required so that she might recharge before what she hoped to be her final week in Nova. She’d thought about things and once she realized the silence she so longed was out of her reach, she’d stopped to plug in her headphones and pull out something to listen to. Perhaps if she hadn’t stopped, things wouldn’t have gone quite the way they did.
She’d continued her run with thoughts plaguing her mind and tearing old wounds open and as each wound was ripped open once more, she’d gone faster and faster to outrun her own thoughts. But thoughts were not that easy outrun. They followed you, they plagued you, they stayed with you and they never ever left you. It’s useless to tell yourself that the memories would leave, the pain would end when you knew very well that it would not. She’d closed her eyes and ran, which perhaps was another reason why things went as they did that night. If her eyes had been open, perhaps she would’ve seen what was coming. If she hadn’t been listening to music, maybe she would’ve heard it coming. Maybe she would’ve ran the other way. But ifs are useless. They won’t change the past. Regardless of any ifs we may have today, the fact still remains that the next morning they buried Lola Fray in a grave far, far away from her dear ocean. It still remains that the police was baffled, that what happened that night stays between Lola and her attacker. And well, in their way of seeing the world asking Lola was out of question, since she’d been pronounced legally dead, deceased, gone. There had been no heartbeat. 

Saturday, 7 February 2015

A Day of Regret

This is an old piece I wrote for a competition - Not one of my best but I enjoyed exploring this aspect of my writing; I feel like I could by rewriting it and perhaps continuing it make something out of it..

At the time I thought life was simple and easy. You live and you die. Maybe you work and start a family, maybe you don't. But no matter what I thought, I knew we would all end up the same way. Joining the hunt in the better hunting grounds always seemed odd to me and I didn't much care for the notions of our loved ones sitting atop a cloud and looking down at us. My mother had believed in all that. I never believed any of it. Dead is dead and mostly 6 feet under, too. Life was simply the thing you did before you were gone. Life wasn't as precious as old people felt it was. Oh, how wrong I was. I still felt immortal - that's how young I was! I was nineteen and I had learned nothing about life and its cruelty. No one close to me had died and nothing horrible had ever happened. To me, wars were nothing but a part of history and death the inevitable thing somewhere faraway in the future. I didn't see myself dying any time soon. Actually, I didn't really see myself dying at all though I believed in it being inevitable. All this held true all the way until my 20th birthday, November the 18th 2011. What happened that day, haunts me to this very day.
The day started much like any other Friday for a teen-aged party-animal does. I would have refused to get up and go to campus if I hadn't known that I had a lecture held by a guest lecturer. They were usually a lot more fun than our professors, who I rarely listen to – Why should I bother with some silly notes? Surely someone else would print me theirs!
I've gone through the events of that day billions of times to see if doing something differently would have altered the end result. There were only a few things that might have changed the events that would follow. The whole day in its tiniest details had drawn itself ever so slowly into my consciousness, probably for the rest of time. I had had black coffee and smoked almonds for breakfast. I had done a smoky-eye look and I could probably even tell someone the names of the shades and brands I had used. I had left my cell at home and had to run back for it. I remember the two sets of clothes I had worn and how I had done my hair for the day. The bus driver hadn't answered my cheery “good morning!” and my best friend's hair had been a shocking shade of magenta. The guest lecturer had worn a T-shirt with the print “AC/DC” across his chest and his name was Markus Lehtinen. These were all things I wouldn't normally pay attention to but guilt does amazing things to a person's memory. Markus had lectured us about music's ways of affecting our subconscious – This is to say that I was studying psychology.
During the lecture everything had been so calm and quiet. I had actually taken notes! My friends had been texting me the entire lecture with questions about the clubs we would hit later that night. The clubs I now wish I hadn't agreed to go to. But I was such a sheep, following the herd wherever it took me. Looking back I have come to realise that I wasn't very mature at the tender age of twenty. I had been surprisingly shallow and obnoxious. It wasn't a surprise that I did what I had always done that day – I followed. I texted my friends back and answered their questions rather cheerfully, not knowing what the future had in store for me. The lecture ended and I was more than ready to do something else with the rest of my day. “Happy birthday, Luna!” my peers said to me as they passed me by, and my answer to each and every one of them was always the same “Thanks! I'll see you at Mist tonight!” Mist was our club. It was dark and mysterious like we thought we were. The music was always amazing and the dance floor just full enough.
I was so absorbed in my own thoughts while giving automated responses to everyone that I didn't notice Diane catching up to me before she started talking. “Mist tonight, huh?” she asked me with that beautiful face of hers turned into that of a mischievous little imp. She fiddled with her long red curls, I wasn't sure if those locks were dyed and permed or not. “Yeah, Mist. Like every Friday”, I muttered. Diane looked bewildered as though I had said something odd. “I mean, it's fun and all that.. But we're always there”, I tried to put noticeable pressure on always. Diane's green eyes widened in shock and so did my own grey ones. Had I just said that, I asked myself over and over again. Diane opened her mouth to say something but luckily for me, our friend Tom interrupted the conversation by asking: “Going to the gym?” We looked at each other and nodded. Nothing more to say or do.
At the gym I put on earphones and listened to very loud music. I didn't want to take part in the conversations going on around me. I nodded to anyone, who seemed to greet me and went on with my workout. If I had known it would be my last, I would have worked harder. But as we all know, you can't predict the future. After the workout I went home to get ready for my birthday “party”. I styled my chestnut hair into wild curls and put bright green polish on my nails. I did my eyes with a shimmering green shadow and put on a black mini dress with black boots and green accessories. “You look amazing, L”, Tom told me as I picked him up in my green Volvo. I smiled back and laughed, “I know!” Next on my list of people to pick up was my gorgeous best friend and her ever changing hair.
Magenta?” I asked her horrified. “Sure. It's awesome, isn't it?” Anna smiled and twirled showing off her new edgy look. I tried to smile back but only managed half a smile. I couldn't stand her new hair. The colour clashed with her skin but at least it was better than the lavender she had gone for before. I was tired of never knowing what she'd look like. “Do you even know what your real colour is?” I asked and tried to keep the disdain from my voice. She looked stunned for a moment. That moment was long enough for guilt to drip in. “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked such a thing”, I muttered only to be greeted by her grin and laughter, which were quickly followed by the words, “This is my real colour now, silly!” I let it go.
It was silly of me to be the driver on my own birthday, I see that now. But I didn't realise it at the time. Don't drink and drive, that's what they say and as a stupid, irresponsible teenager, who thought she was an adult, I had never followed the rule. There I was, driving, because I'd volunteered to be our dedicated driver. Too bad dedicated driver seemed to translate in our heads as drunk driver. It was a miracle that we hadn't managed to kill ourselves or others on our booze filled trips.
We drifted from club to club drinking progressively more and more. We went from water to cider to tequila to vodka. It was crazy and we probably were, too. Nearly regular Friday night for us and I say nearly, because things were about to go horribly wrong. We arrived at Mist at 10.15PM according to my phone. Walking in I felt awesome, sort of indestructible like nothing could hurt me. The music was deafening and the air filled with excitement. Mist's trademark scent had always seemed to be tobacco, alcohol and sweat – A combination that sounds extremely disgusting but is actually pretty awesome. I saw friendly faces and people I knew would befriend us quicker than I could say hi. In the moment I wondered why I had been annoyed about coming to Mist again. “This will be the best birthday party ever!” I shouted over the music to Anna, who just grinned at me. For a dedicated driver I was already way too deep in the liquor. We danced with men and women who we had never met and, probably, would never meet again. Everyone there was fine with taking that chance. If something was meant to be, surely you would meet again somewhere outside Mist.
Mist could never become the central point of our lives - that is what we vowed. We drank and danced more. I was later told by others that I had made out with someone in the Northern corner. I didn't remember the encounter. The rest of my time at Mist was more of the same until I decided it was a good idea to drive my friends home. What followed drew itself all across my life and is one of the few things I truly remember from the time I was wasted.
“This is fun”, Anna screamed in delight from the back seat a little while after we had left Mist and were headed to the highway. I had 120 kilometres per hour on my meter and I wasn't about to slow down. Tom had dozed off on the front seat after calling shotgun. He was blissfully unaware of everything we did with my Volvo. Diane sat with Anna in the back. She was laughing wildly, enjoying herself. Her laughter caught on and soon I was laughing, too. For a change we weren't fighting but instead having fun. Anna burst into song and we joined in. Our voices were far from unison and nowhere near pitch perfect. Some of the horrible out of tune notes we sang made me flinch and take a tighter hold of the black (fake)leather wheel.
Diane and I quieted down pretty quickly. Even when drunk we had a certain uncertainty of our own musical talents and enough shame to avoid showing them – Anna didn't possess these qualities. She moved on to “Happy Birthday”, which is what she was singing when we saw the truck. I was certain that I was driving just as well as I normally did. Turns out, your drunk mind isn't as smart and coordinated as it would like to think. Anna kept on singing and Diane seemed to be about to fall asleep. I smiled behind the wheel and kept a straight line – at least so I thought. The truck was coming at us at 120 kilometres per hour and we were, without knowing it, going at it with the exact same speed. The crash happened suddenly and violently. Tom didn't even wake up.
I remember screaming, “No, no, no. This isn't happening!” I don't know why I remember that. I remember the way the first impact of the crash felt. Sometimes I still wake up at night screaming. I still remember how it felt to hit my head on the wheel and to remember in that moment that none of the others had worn seatbelts. I remember the car starting to turn immediately after the impact and myself thinking that if I were to survive I would study my ass off. Unfortunately for me, I was heard and my wish was granted. The car turned over a few times and I was disoriented. I saw just blood. I could feel something thick and warm etching slowly down my face. I thanked every god I knew for having landed back in upright position. Then everything went black.
I woke up to bright lights and steady beeping of a machine. I was hurting all over and then it all hit me. I had been in a car accident with my friends. I had been driving drunk. I was surprised that I wasn't handcuffed to the bed. I fell back asleep and the next time I woke up I was questioned by doctors to establish that my brain was still working as it should. All the silly questions I had hated suddenly made sense to me. They let me recover for a while before telling me that none of my friends had survived. I was mortified. This had been my fault and I knew it. I saw how the nurses looked at me. Later I would go to jail for manslaughter and drunk driving. My licence would be suspended. But no punishment could have been worse than what I did to myself.
After that night I fell from social butterfly to “damaged goods”, literally. I knew I should have known better than to drive drunk. I will never believe any of the excuses others have made for me. It was my fault. My style changed from beautiful and confident to the mouse in the corner. I would forever regret the events of that day, and I had no idea how that day would affect the rest of my life.
Friday the 18th of November 2011 was the day my best friends died. It was the day that ruined my life and the lives of those who loved all four of us. It was truly a day of regret.

Friday, 2 May 2014

To Be A Cat For A Day?

To Be A Cat For A Day? is a story of a young woman, Evelynn Yorke, who finds herself in all sorts of trouble in 2154. It all starts one beautiful morning when her lab blows up as she walks in. Who would want to kill her and why?


This kind of mornings always made her wish to be a cat. Cats can sleep whenever, wherever they want to, she mused and they didn't have to go to work after a sleepless night to be there at 7AM sharp. Why, oh why, hadn't she been born a cat or an owl? Being either animal would suit her basic needs and sleep schedule a lot better. But alas, Mother Nature had just had to play pranks and games when natures were handed out and hence given a human that of a cat - or so Eve had always believed.
        For a young, aspiring scientist she had a lot of beliefs and her fellow scientists were either amused or irritated by them and her ethics. She was honest and unwilling to withhold information of her scientific research and how it was conducted. Besides, whenever they saw her, she seemed perky and happy plus her sarcastic and cheeky comments never went unnoticed and always made other people angry. My associates are so humorless and dull, she thought as she sipped the morn's first cup of herbal tea. She never seemed to be able to stomach coffee, which annoyed other scientists beyond belief, mainly because none of them seemed to be able to do anything without caffeine in their systems. She didn't think much of it - their behavior was rather foolish and their caffeine consumption was probably the reason why they couldn't live without it.
        Eve thought about cats again and smiled. It was clear that if she was a cat then her fellow scientists were either dogs or mice. She hadn't quite decided yet. It was fun to think of such things while placing her empty tea cup on the table and walking to a silver mirror across the room. Her hair was a mix of black, red and brown streaks that others often saw simply as "brown". She wore it short, the way Audrey Hepburn had worn hers two hundred years before. Her eyes were like sapphires glistening in the morning sun. I look so pale, she thought to herself and added rouge to her cheeks. It made the paleness disappear a bit, certainly, but she was still very pale. There was hope that none of her coworkers would realize it once she met them at work. Science would always be her passion, no matter what, and today she would go to her lab and study those approximately 8000-year-old remains. Anyone else would've thought that a girl getting excited over some dead guy's bones was weird, but to Eve, it was life at its truest. Where else could she see what people had done, how they had lived and what their genetic make was, but those bones!
         Eve left for work with a smile on her face. Her beautiful sapphire blue floater was waiting for her right where she'd left it, which she was thankful of since her roommate sometimes moved it to the garage. She threw on a silver colored helmet, a black leather jacket and her driving gloves - None of these could ever be considered a trivial thing as they would protect her if the floater decided to have a malfunction midair. She only hoped she'd bought proper protection for her feet and legs as well but she'd have time to do that. Eve absolutely hated the traffic at this hour, without it she would've been at work in 15 minutes but alas, no, with it she had to float around on place and wait. If she left at 6.15, she'd make it for 6.55 to work and it sucked. Thank goodness my job is awesome, she thought to herself, else I wouldn't bother to face this traffic every day.
        She sang while driving and it seemed like she was there in no time. She parked her floater and removed her helmet. Today was going to be a good day. She greeted her coworkers with a cheerful smile and spoke with the janitor for awhile. And then everything went wrong when she opened her lab's door.

Chapter 1

As far as life goes, Eve's was just fine at least in the sense that she was alive. Every bit of her body hurt, her hair was smoking and her ears ringing. She had no idea what had happened. She heard someone shout and couldn't make out the words. Her heart was racing and she tried to concentrate on the fact that she was alive. "Yorke? Damn it. Answer me!" someone screamed. "Eve?" a female voice shouted. Evelynn tried to understand what Yorke and Eve meant. She was confused and her brain wasn't functioning as she thought it should. I need help, she thought and tried to speak but only managed to cough. Multiple tries later, she managed to groan: "help", and many coughs later, she heard someone answer her. "Evelynn! Where are you?" that someone said. I'm here, Eve thought but couldn't make the voice come out. She could feel that she was about to lose consciousness. I'm here, why don't you see me? Come here! She was falling into desperation. Then she saw a shape coming through the doorway. You found me,, she thought as the shape picked her up and kept saying things Eve couldn't understand. Few moments later, there was nothing.
        Beep.. Beep.. "Will she be okay?" someone asked. The beeping of the machine was starting to annoy Evelynn but she couldn't open her eyes. The light she felt on her lids seemed to hurt her and she slowly became aware of the aches around her body. "What happened? How did she end up in this state?" that someone asked. Mother? Evelynn thought, they called my MOTHER? I don't want to talk to her, she thought and kept her eyes shut. After a while she heard the door shut and sighed in relief. Then she opened her eyes very slowly. Hospital white had always disgusted her and she'd never have gone to a hospital herself, she'd have made the doctor come to see her. But no, here she was. She didn't even know which hospital it was and since she wished to know, she pressed the red help button. It didn't take long for the four doctors and two nurses to run into her room. Boy, did Eve want to laugh at them but moving her body hurt on so many levels. "Can you tell me your name?" one of the doctors - female, native american, 46 - asked her. "Yorke, Evelynn Lisa. Friends call me Eve", Eve answered and waited for the next question, they always asked you when they thought you were a scientist suffering from severe head trauma. "When were you born and what is your field of expertise?" the doctor continued the parade of questions. "I was born on May 17th in 2128 and my field is anthropology, and no, I wasn't conducting an experiment that could have caused anything that would bring me to the hospital", Eve answered with clear annoyance ringing in her voice. "Alright, Eve. I am Mira Rivers, your doctor, and these are my colleagues doctors Thompson, Phillips and Rosenberg", Doctor Rivers introduced pointing first at Thompson (male, Afro-american, 55), then at Phillips (female, Spanish, 26) and last at Rosenberg (male, Nordic, 78) before continuing to ask: "Can you tell me what happened?"

Monday, 6 January 2014

Emmy Newbury: Chapter 2

Note: This chapter isn't complete yet, but if something bothers you about it, please leave a comment. If you haven't read the PROLOGUE and CHAPTER 1, I suggest you do that now.
The Forest

“Damn it! We have to stop. Those gunfire sounds were our tires breaking”, Cam swore and forced the car to stop. Emmy was even angrier about it than Cam was, but they both knew anger wouldn't solve anything since following leads with only two working tires would be rather difficult. “I'll call someone to pick it up and then we can start walking”, Emmy said and didn't even ask for the approval of her partner. Partners or not, she was in charge because she owned the company and Cam had just wanted to work there. It wasn't like Cam needed to work. He was a prince amongst his people, but he didn't want to sit around doing big nothings when he knew he could help out in the world. They got out of the car and started walking while Emmy spoke on the phone with the guy from their fixing department. “A man will be there in three hours to pick the car up”, were the last words said in the phone-call but never the less, those words were the first good news they'd heard since they'd started working that morning. They'd gotten a lead late yesterday evening, a nameless lead, saying that Tonya Paxton had headed for Cairne after the conversation with her brother. They walked for fifteen minutes before they reached the next signs saying where each road would take them and once there, they followed the one leading them to Cairne Harbour. It was the one that lead towards a forest they expected to be rather small. Behind them, the sign turned on it's own and started stating that Cairne Harbour was, indeed, the other road and not the one they were following.
After a walk of not more than five minutes within the forest, their memories started failing them, slowly. Something was eating up their experiences from the times when they were fairly young; Experiences, which had lead them to stand there that very day. Soon they forgot why they'd come there in the first place and started merely sight-seeing in the beautiful forest. Everything seems wonderful and for a while, they act like children again; Emmy's parents aren't dead and Cam hasn't fallen miserably in love just to be betrayed – All is great and they haven't felt one minute of sorrow in their lives.. If only. But they regained their consciousness of what they were after fast enough; It was all about Tonya Paxton and so it had been since the day before yesterday. The memories evolving Tonya Paxton seem to be the only ones clear to them for a while; Everything else disappears slowly but inevitably from their memories and nothing, absolutely nothing, else seems to matter than Tonya Paxton and thus they walk in silence looking for even the slightest hint of the missing woman. But then, even that memory started to fade, eventually leaving only an empty painting for someone to paint anew inside the minds of those two young adults.
Although we know that it was at midday they entered the forest, they didn't know how long they'd been there when the day started turning to night and even the last bits of light began leaving the woods to give space to the darkness. When all light was gone, our adventurers felt lost, hungry and afraid. But then, they glimpsed a light from between the trees, a light that had not been there before they'd started feeling lost. They ran towards it, falling down on every step they took but feeling a terrible urge to get away from the darkness of the forest and into the light of whatever it happened to be. Emmy felt as if they would have been walking towards their deaths. The light was pulling them towards itself and they had no time to think nor want to think before they stumbled into a city with beautiful marble pavement and lovely houses. So this is what it feels like to die, she thought to herself as she shook her head at all the people on the streets. Death had finally beaten Life in Emmy's case and no one would ever hear the truth about any of the deaths she was investigating.
“You lost?” a blonde in red asked them sweetly. Cam nodded and flashed a smile to the woman. For a moment Emmy wondered why she was travelling with a dark elf. She had vague memories of childhood friendship and saved lives. If only I could remember, she thought. Somehow the whole conversation between Cam and the woman went flying past her and she ended up following with no idea where they were headed. She felt light headed and lost but at place all at once. The odd feeling of belonging kept her at ease and soon she forgot all about how odd it felt. They met an old bearded man, who assigned them both living quarters and jobs. And that is how Emmy met Delora Brown, a witch she had been trying to find for years. Emmy had wanted to think that the leads had gone cold because Delora didn't want to be found. Of course, Emmy didn't remember any of this and just smiled dumbfounded at her new room mate. Things settled into a routine and for months they lived in the city at peace with the universe. But false peace couldn't last.
There came a day when the old man lead Emmy to the forest. Well, he didn't lead her there – She followed him because even with no recollection of what she did with her life, she had instincts and curiosity. They went East, turning North at a cracked rock and then going around the bend. That's when she saw it.
She wanted to scream but nothing came out of her mouth, which she would later have to thank for her life. She shut her mouth abruptly and stood there studying the creature. She wanted to call it a monster. It was shackled but was it there because it had been wronged or because it had wronged others. The darkness and fear it made her feel made her assume it had wronged others. It looked like a huge elf but somehow not. It was dressed in dark green garments and had a sinister expression. Its teeth were yellow and eyes bright red. It wasn't beautiful like the elves but rather as ugly as they were delightful and probably as evil as elves were mischievous. Then its turned to Emmy, who couldn't think of anything else to do but run – A thing that is shackled cannot follow.

Tuesday, 12 March 2013

A Death Wish: Wishes to Eternity

Sometimes I thought of what could've been instead of what actually was. I knew none of what I thought ever happened but, at times, I wished it had, not because I was miserable but because others were miserable around me. No one seemed happy and I knew for a fact that no one was happy. I brought misfortune with me. And that's why all of the alternate realities, which I thought of, were ones where I'd died in one incident or another. Sometimes I really wished I'd die in that very spot but nothing ever happened. I've written my will and the people around me know exactly what it says. They all get specific bits of my fortune, the one I'd inherited in pieces and then grown by working in all sorts of businesses - thievery wasn't the smallest nor was paid murders. Honest work just wasn't what a woman got to do in this country!
            I'd hired the finest of all of the murderers to try and kill me. Sixteen people, not one success story of my death. Fifteen tried and failed perhaps the last one would be more successful.. I wasn't holding my breath for that, since you just don't surprise a woman who is third cat, sixth wolf and half witch. I guess it didn't work quite like they thought it would. And with such a mixed heritage, I didn't know how long I'd live. It's already been six hundred years.

Mieli ja todellisuus

The following is a weird piece of text, which I managed to write last month. It's not much and unfortunately it's in Finnish, so not everyone who'd like to will be able to read it.

Olin yksin pimeässä. Ja kuitenkin, tunsin jonkun tarkkailevan minua. Oli kylmää ja kosteaa. Jotakin niljakasta kulki jalkojeni ohitse, koskettaen niitä hiukan. On päästävä pois täältä, ajattelin. Ajatus olisi muuten ollut ihan hyvä mutten tiennyt missä olin tai mistä olin tullut. Joskus on vain pysähdyttävä miettimään, vaikka kuinka pelottaisi. Tämä oli yksi niitä kertoja. Ja niin minä pysähdyin.

Todellisuudessa Ana ei ollut pimeässä vaan ehkä yhdessä valoisimmista huoneista koko kaupungissa. Sairaala. Kenelläkään ei tule mitään hyvää siitä mieleen. Ei ainakaan Medissä. Medissä kukaan ei mennyt sairaalaan, jollei jotakin todella pahaa ollut tapahtunut. Ann oli koomassa.

Seisoin aivan paikallani, hädin tuskin hengitin ja mietin. Mietin oikein kovasti. Aivoni tutkivat asioita joka kantilta mutten keksinyt vastausta.

Kuten sanottu. Hän oli koomassa ja aivokäyrä oli heikonlainen. Ei unen, ei nukkujan, ei valvojan mutta ei aivokuolleenkaan. Ystävät olivat aikoja sitten lakanneet käymästä.

Yksin. Miksi olen yksin pimeydessä? kyselin hämmentyneiltä aivoiltani lähtiessäni jatkamaan matkaa eteenpäin. Yksi askel, toinen.

Piikki aivokäyrässä ja muutamaa sekuntia myöhemmin toinen. Abnormaali käyrä. Suora, piikki, suora, piikki.

Askel, toinen, kolmas. Hitaasti eteenpäin. Kuulin litinän askelissani. Syvemmälle, syvemmälle.. Osaanko uida, mitein hädissäni. Vain minä, pimeys, vesi ja haljaisuus. Solahdin veteen. Se oli kylmää.

Väristys, tärinä, liikkuvat silmat luomien alla. Lääkäri ja hoitaja hämmentyneinä huoneessa. Voisiko olla, voisiko? Heräisikö tuo punapää viimein? Kaikkien näiden vuosien jälkeen.

Wednesday, 15 August 2012

Emmy Newbury: Chapter 1

 If you haven't read the prologue, I suggest you do that before reading the following!
 EDIT: Apparently there was a cosmetic mistake in middle of the text where that entire bit was smaller than the rest; I think I've fixed it now.

 The Curious Case of Tonya Paxton

"I knew exactly what she was going to say and I also knew I wouldn't like it. 'Don't say anything', I said firmly and waited for her to close her already open mouth. Her face was set but her eyes were filled with flames of anger and disappointment. She was really angry with me and that, if nothing else, made me feel blue. 'Don't look at me like that!' she snapped at me. 'Tonya..' I muttered but she wouldn't let me touch her.  She was my sister, my little sister, and she wouldn't have me in her house. I walked away and said nothing at all. I didn't look back, not even when I heard the door slam behind me.. I'm so sorry for the pain I've caused her to feel.. If only I could tell her so", David Paxton explained with his heartache in his voice.Emmy just looked at him but felt no pity at all. Emmy's eyes were cold and reflected nothing but disgust as she looked at the man whose crime had destroyed Tonya Paxton's heart and, eventually, soul. "You brutally murdered the man whom she loved and expected her to let you still be a part of her life?" she asked and no sympathy reached her angered voice. All in all, Emmy thought that David Paxton was a miserable, disgusting creature with no heart and no worth. But David didn't look the part Emmy's thoughts gave him, since he was actually quite handsome, but then again, those are the worst type of disgusting bastards! His hair was black like raven feathers and his eyes so brown that they almost looked black. But a job is a job. "When did she go missing?" Emmy asked moving the conversation away from how much David wanted to say he was sorry to his sister. David stopped whimpering and collected the pieces of his mind.
 "Three weeks ago, that's the last her co-workers saw her according to the brother", Emmy explained, mere moments later, to Cam who had hinted about the kidnapped sorceress to Emmy. Cam nodded his elven head and stated that they should ask around the supernatural community and through there find out if Tonya had stirred any bad blood amongst them since THAT would determine if the supernaturals had anything to do with the disappearance. If not, Emmy and Cam were up for a hunt of ordinary people which had proven to be much easier than hunting SUNAs. SUNA was the most commonly used shortening for Supernatural. The problem with SUNAs was - and still is - that they fear almost nothing and you can't spell nor torture them for information. It's always a trade if you want your info from someone who dislikes you. So unless Tonya Paxton was extraordinarily liked in the community of SUNAs, what awaited Emmy was a long, hard and trade filled day and when one wanted information such as this, one would do anything.
          The first place where they usually stopped for information was the headquarters of the Supernatural Crime - The S.C. that is - because they had all that information about every single member of the community and almost everything that had happened within it. It was also the only place where you didn't trade if you were dealing with a disappearance of a woman or a child. "Probably because they have such a shortage of women in society nowadays.." Cam muttered to himself whilst letting Emmy lead the way to the right people to ask about Tonya Paxton. Emmy felt at home in the S.C. and that was a hard thing to make happen, for she hadn't felt at home anywhere since the Coven of Fiore, which is where she had spent perhaps the happiest eight years of her life. The woman they would have to talk with went by the name Ann Blair and if she wasn't an extraordinary woman, then no one was. For SUNAs, Ann was something fairly boring, a worker at the S.C. - no one really cared about them - but for the normal world, she was the most interesting author of the time. She wrote about crimes in a fantasy world, which she so lovingly called Faedra.
Ann was a very terrifying woman, no one but Emmy could look into those steel grey eyes without flinching at the coldness of them - That was the only reason why Ann respected Emmy. Ann always smiled lovingly to her customers, but if she had a soft spot in her heart, it was yet to be found. This time her hair was bright red and tied up on a bun but even if her hair changed on a frequent basis, her style never betrayed you. She had the look of that kid everyone envied and hated in school. It wasn't because she was pretty, but because she made you scared and when you're scared, you start to respect someone more, even though you'll hate them for the rest of time. That's how Ann looked; She wore the high-end clothes every woman wanted and had even matched them so that they didn't look tacky. She looked like she had money and wasn't afraid of doing anything to get more. Luckily for us, she never managed to scare Emmy - nor Cam who secretly had a crush on Ann - and that is why they were there asking Ann the questions they would ask.
"Good afternoon, miss Newbury, how may I be of assistance this time?" Ann asked with a voice that wrote on the air the words: You are not the one I wanted to see today. Emmy didn't take a step back, like anyone else would have, even though she was perfectly capable of reading the words. She merely greeted Ann and gave Cam the sign for starting to explain why they were there. Emmy had learned ages ago that Ann would rather listen a man than a woman, since the man was more likely to give attention to Ann's looks. "Emmy does not get to explain it for I am the reason why she took the case in the first place", Cam stated coldly, hiding all emotion from his voice. Ann flashed him a smile, which indicated that he was allowed to continue. "Another woman has gone missing. Her name is Tonya Paxton and we would like to know what the S.C. knows about her", was all he said. "You'd like to know? What will you do to earn that information?" Ann slashed him like a poisonous snake but kept the pleasant smile on her pretty little face. It confused Cam and gave Emmy just enough time to pitch in: "A favour. That's what we'll give to you. Anything you'd like - In information, of course, since that is the credit of power these days." Ann considered the answer for a moment. “Fine, you owe me one”, she murmured silently before Emmy could say more. “The information you're looking for is in file six. I knew you'd come looking for it and decided to not waste my time nor voice explaining it all to you. And oh, you might want to take a look at page seventeen of file eight, too”, she said dismissively. Emmy nodded and took the file and the page before Ann had a chance to change her mind.

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