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Monday, January 6, 2014

Emmy Newbury: Chapter 2

Note: This chapter isn't complete yet, but if something bothers you about it, please leave a comment. If you haven't read the PROLOGUE and CHAPTER 1, I suggest you do that now.
The Forest

“Damn it! We have to stop. Those gunfire sounds were our tires breaking”, Cam swore and forced the car to stop. Emmy was even angrier about it than Cam was, but they both knew anger wouldn't solve anything since following leads with only two working tires would be rather difficult. “I'll call someone to pick it up and then we can start walking”, Emmy said and didn't even ask for the approval of her partner. Partners or not, she was in charge because she owned the company and Cam had just wanted to work there. It wasn't like Cam needed to work. He was a prince amongst his people, but he didn't want to sit around doing big nothings when he knew he could help out in the world. They got out of the car and started walking while Emmy spoke on the phone with the guy from their fixing department. “A man will be there in three hours to pick the car up”, were the last words said in the phone-call but never the less, those words were the first good news they'd heard since they'd started working that morning. They'd gotten a lead late yesterday evening, a nameless lead, saying that Tonya Paxton had headed for Cairne after the conversation with her brother. They walked for fifteen minutes before they reached the next signs saying where each road would take them and once there, they followed the one leading them to Cairne Harbour. It was the one that lead towards a forest they expected to be rather small. Behind them, the sign turned on it's own and started stating that Cairne Harbour was, indeed, the other road and not the one they were following.
After a walk of not more than five minutes within the forest, their memories started failing them, slowly. Something was eating up their experiences from the times when they were fairly young; Experiences, which had lead them to stand there that very day. Soon they forgot why they'd come there in the first place and started merely sight-seeing in the beautiful forest. Everything seems wonderful and for a while, they act like children again; Emmy's parents aren't dead and Cam hasn't fallen miserably in love just to be betrayed – All is great and they haven't felt one minute of sorrow in their lives.. If only. But they regained their consciousness of what they were after fast enough; It was all about Tonya Paxton and so it had been since the day before yesterday. The memories evolving Tonya Paxton seem to be the only ones clear to them for a while; Everything else disappears slowly but inevitably from their memories and nothing, absolutely nothing, else seems to matter than Tonya Paxton and thus they walk in silence looking for even the slightest hint of the missing woman. But then, even that memory started to fade, eventually leaving only an empty painting for someone to paint anew inside the minds of those two young adults.
Although we know that it was at midday they entered the forest, they didn't know how long they'd been there when the day started turning to night and even the last bits of light began leaving the woods to give space to the darkness. When all light was gone, our adventurers felt lost, hungry and afraid. But then, they glimpsed a light from between the trees, a light that had not been there before they'd started feeling lost. They ran towards it, falling down on every step they took but feeling a terrible urge to get away from the darkness of the forest and into the light of whatever it happened to be. Emmy felt as if they would have been walking towards their deaths. The light was pulling them towards itself and they had no time to think nor want to think before they stumbled into a city with beautiful marble pavement and lovely houses.  

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

A Death Wish

Sometimes I thought of what could've been instead of what actually was. I knew none of what I thought ever happened but, at times, I wished it had, not because I was miserable but because others were miserable around me. No one seemed happy and I knew for a fact that no one was happy. I brought misfortune with me. And that's why all of the alternate realities, which I thought of, were ones where I'd died in one incident or another. Sometimes I really wished I'd die in that very spot but nothing ever happened. I've written my will and the people around me know exactly what it says. They all get specific bits of my fortune, the one I'd inherited in pieces and then grown by working in all sorts of businesses - thievery wasn't the smallest nor was paid murders. Honest work just wasn't what a woman got to do in this country!
            I'd hired the finest of all of the murderers to try and kill me. Sixteen people, not one success story of my death. Fifteen tried and failed perhaps the last one would be more successful.. I wasn't holding my breath for that, since you just don't surprise a woman who is third cat, sixth wolf and half witch. I guess it didn't work quite like they thought it would. And with such a mixed heritage, I didn't know how long I'd live. It's already been six hundred years.

Mieli ja todellisuus

The following is a weird piece of text, which I managed to write last month. It's not much and unfortunately it's in Finnish, so not everyone who'd like to will be able to read it.

Olin yksin pimeässä. Ja kuitenkin, tunsin jonkun tarkkailevan minua. Oli kylmää ja kosteaa. Jotakin niljakasta kulki jalkojeni ohitse, koskettaen niitä hiukan. On päästävä pois täältä, ajattelin. Ajatus olisi muuten ollut ihan hyvä mutten tiennyt missä olin tai mistä olin tullut. Joskus on vain pysähdyttävä miettimään, vaikka kuinka pelottaisi. Tämä oli yksi niitä kertoja. Ja niin minä pysähdyin.

Todellisuudessa Ana ei ollut pimeässä vaan ehkä yhdessä valoisimmista huoneista koko kaupungissa. Sairaala. Kenelläkään ei tule mitään hyvää siitä mieleen. Ei ainakaan Medissä. Medissä kukaan ei mennyt sairaalaan, jollei jotakin todella pahaa ollut tapahtunut. Ann oli koomassa.

Seisoin aivan paikallani, hädin tuskin hengitin ja mietin. Mietin oikein kovasti. Aivoni tutkivat asioita joka kantilta mutten keksinyt vastausta.

Kuten sanottu. Hän oli koomassa ja aivokäyrä oli heikonlainen. Ei unen, ei nukkujan, ei valvojan mutta ei aivokuolleenkaan. Ystävät olivat aikoja sitten lakanneet käymästä.

Yksin. Miksi olen yksin pimeydessä? kyselin hämmentyneiltä aivoiltani lähtiessäni jatkamaan matkaa eteenpäin. Yksi askel, toinen.

Piikki aivokäyrässä ja muutamaa sekuntia myöhemmin toinen. Abnormaali käyrä. Suora, piikki, suora, piikki.

Askel, toinen, kolmas. Hitaasti eteenpäin. Kuulin litinän askelissani. Syvemmälle, syvemmälle.. Osaanko uida, mitein hädissäni. Vain minä, pimeys, vesi ja haljaisuus. Solahdin veteen. Se oli kylmää.

Väristys, tärinä, liikkuvat silmat luomien alla. Lääkäri ja hoitaja hämmentyneinä huoneessa. Voisiko olla, voisiko? Heräisikö tuo punapää viimein? Kaikkien näiden vuosien jälkeen.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Emmy Newbury: Chapter 1

 If you haven't read the prologue, I suggest you do that before reading the following!
 EDIT: Apparently there was a cosmetic mistake in middle of the text where that entire bit was smaller than the rest; I think I've fixed it now.

 The Curious Case of Tonya Paxton

"I knew exactly what she was going to say and I also knew I wouldn't like it. 'Don't say anything', I said firmly and waited for her to close her already open mouth. Her face was set but her eyes were filled with flames of anger and disappointment. She was really angry with me and that, if nothing else, made me feel blue. 'Don't look at me like that!' she snapped at me. 'Tonya..' I muttered but she wouldn't let me touch her.  She was my sister, my little sister, and she wouldn't have me in her house. I walked away and said nothing at all. I didn't look back, not even when I heard the door slam behind me.. I'm so sorry for the pain I've caused her to feel.. If only I could tell her so", David Paxton explained with his heartache in his voice.Emmy just looked at him but felt no pity at all. Emmy's eyes were cold and reflected nothing but disgust as she looked at the man whose crime had destroyed Tonya Paxton's heart and, eventually, soul. "You brutally murdered the man whom she loved and expected her to let you still be a part of her life?" she asked and no sympathy reached her angered voice. All in all, Emmy thought that David Paxton was a miserable, disgusting creature with no heart and no worth. But David didn't look the part Emmy's thoughts gave him, since he was actually quite handsome, but then again, those are the worst type of disgusting bastards! His hair was black like raven feathers and his eyes so brown that they almost looked black. But a job is a job. "When did she go missing?" Emmy asked moving the conversation away from how much David wanted to say he was sorry to his sister. David stopped whimpering and collected the pieces of his mind.
 "Three weeks ago, that's the last her co-workers saw her according to the brother", Emmy explained, mere moments later, to Cam who had hinted about the kidnapped sorceress to Emmy. Cam nodded his elven head and stated that they should ask around the supernatural community and through there find out if Tonya had stirred any bad blood amongst them since THAT would determine if the supernaturals had anything to do with the disappearance. If not, Emmy and Cam were up for a hunt of ordinary people which had proven to be much easier than hunting SUNAs. SUNA was the most commonly used shortening for Supernatural. The problem with SUNAs was - and still is - that they fear almost nothing and you can't spell nor torture them for information. It's always a trade if you want your info from someone who dislikes you. So unless Tonya Paxton was extraordinarily liked in the community of SUNAs, what awaited Emmy was a long, hard and trade filled day and when one wanted information such as this, one would do anything.
          The first place where they usually stopped for information was the headquarters of the Supernatural Crime - The S.C. that is - because they had all that information about every single member of the community and almost everything that had happened within it. It was also the only place where you didn't trade if you were dealing with a disappearance of a woman or a child. "Probably because they have such a shortage of women in society nowadays.." Cam muttered to himself whilst letting Emmy lead the way to the right people to ask about Tonya Paxton. Emmy felt at home in the S.C. and that was a hard thing to make happen, for she hadn't felt at home anywhere since the Coven of Fiore, which is where she had spent perhaps the happiest eight years of her life. The woman they would have to talk with went by the name Ann Blair and if she wasn't an extraordinary woman, then no one was. For SUNAs, Ann was something fairly boring, a worker at the S.C. - no one really cared about them - but for the normal world, she was the most interesting author of the time. She wrote about crimes in a fantasy world, which she so lovingly called Faedra.
Ann was a very terrifying woman, no one but Emmy could look into those steel grey eyes without flinching at the coldness of them - That was the only reason why Ann respected Emmy. Ann always smiled lovingly to her customers, but if she had a soft spot in her heart, it was yet to be found. This time her hair was bright red and tied up on a bun but even if her hair changed on a frequent basis, her style never betrayed you. She had the look of that kid everyone envied and hated in school. It wasn't because she was pretty, but because she made you scared and when you're scared, you start to respect someone more, even though you'll hate them for the rest of time. That's how Ann looked; She wore the high-end clothes every woman wanted and had even matched them so that they didn't look tacky. She looked like she had money and wasn't afraid of doing anything to get more. Luckily for us, she never managed to scare Emmy - nor Cam who secretly had a crush on Ann - and that is why they were there asking Ann the questions they would ask.
"Good afternoon, miss Newbury, how may I be of assistance this time?" Ann asked with a voice that wrote on the air the words: You are not the one I wanted to see today. Emmy didn't take a step back, like anyone else would have, even though she was perfectly capable of reading the words. She merely greeted Ann and gave Cam the sign for starting to explain why they were there. Emmy had learned ages ago that Ann would rather listen a man than a woman, since the man was more likely to give attention to Ann's looks. "Emmy does not get to explain it for I am the reason why she took the case in the first place", Cam stated coldly, hiding all emotion from his voice. Ann flashed him a smile, which indicated that he was allowed to continue. "Another woman has gone missing. Her name is Tonya Paxton and we would like to know what the S.C. knows about her", was all he said. "You'd like to know? What will you do to earn that information?" Ann slashed him like a poisonous snake but kept the pleasant smile on her pretty little face. It confused Cam and gave Emmy just enough time to pitch in: "A favour. That's what we'll give to you. Anything you'd like - In information, of course, since that is the credit of power these days." Ann considered the answer for a moment. “Fine, you owe me one”, she murmured silently before Emmy could say more. “The information you're looking for is in file six. I knew you'd come looking for it and decided to not waste my time nor voice explaining it all to you. And oh, you might want to take a look at page seventeen of file eight, too”, she said dismissively. Emmy nodded and took the file and the page before Ann had a chance to change her mind.

Monday, July 16, 2012

Emmy Newbury (Prologue)

"For Emmy Newbury, Terra had always been a bit more magical than to anyone else, but on the year of her 25th birthday it all seemed to start falling apart as something or someone tries to hunt her down. The chase has begun. But.. Who was the cat and who the mouse?"


                                                                                      ***


Prologue

The blood was absorbed by the thirsty grass on the sacred land. It flooded the steps of the church during that unilluminated night. A young woman was laying in front of the door, her terrified eyes facing the black sky and her screams echoing from grave to grave. Her lifeless body was left to wait for the morning.
The morning sun rose blood red; It was known to be the mark of bloodshed during the night. But little Emmy Newbury didn't know of such things. She was nearly nine years old and last night had been her birthday. Many found the little girl scary and yet still cute. Her chestnut hair was braided on the sides of her head and her moss eyes were filled with curiosity and something oddly bothering, too. None seemed able to stand in front of those eyes without flinching for the things they thought the girl could read. She had just gotten up and already she was running outside wildly for the next adventure.
It was said that Emmy's imagination was wider and deeper than any ocean upon Terra, but no one was sure of that. Emmy would run around the cliffs talking of dragons, pixies and imps, and people would nod and smile, perhaps laugh but should she turn around, they would roll their eyes and shake their heads for they couldn't understand what was going on inside that little head of hers. None of the other children were like Emmy, because they grew up, eventually. But Emmy seemed to never grow up; Her mind was still as vivid as it had been when she was a four-year-old and telling crazy stories of monsters lurking outside her window. It wasn't the stories that made people think that she was odd, but the way she wasn't scared of those monsters she imagined. She was following one of those even that morning.
That very morning she was chatting with a small, black and pointy eared boy who claimed to be a black elf. They would do this every year, the day after her birthday. The boy was called Cam, his eyes were red and his hair white. He was a mischievous creature and so, he claimed, were the rest of his race, too. Emmy would run with him to the hills and then down again. They would laugh, sing and dance and then, she would show something of her world to him. This year it would be the Church of Hope. But now it was time for dancing and singing, and later, she promised, for something new to add to his knowledge of Terra. The fun took them hours and then they ran for the church. But what they saw up there was all very wrong and not filled with hope at all.
The church itself was big and white with symbols of faith. No one in the village remembered when it had been built, thus they had come to the conclusion that it was, indeed, older than time itself. According to some of the creatures Emmy spoke to, the theory sounded quite right. One could see that something was wrong fairly far away and that is why Emmy started running like she'd never ran before. She wanted to see for herself before no one else saw it. She jumped over the gate and walked through the graveyard trying to see EVERYTHING at once. Then, all of a sudden, she stopped and her eyes blinked not once but twice. It seemed as if the whole world had stopped to see how a young girl would react to what was in front of her eyes.
Emmy blinked again, she wasn't sure if what she saw was really there. She thought it was intriguing and gruesome. Scary? Not at all. All that blood, she thought, it creates such a beautiful picture. Her mind started projecting all it saw. The woman must have been beautiful before, Emmy mused, what could she have done to get killed like this. She walked closer to the woman, through the grass, which had turned brown during the night. The blood had dried on the gravestones and the door of the church. It is almost as if a wolf had eaten her, Emmy thought and turned to look at her friend. “Cam? What do you think did this?” she asked with a voice so clear that one couldn't believe that she was a nine-year-old who had just found a body. Cam shook his head and came closer to look. “I know not”, he muttered as he studied the odd wounds on the woman's chest. “Should we try to find out?” Emmy asked and looked at Cam with eyes that glinted with excitement. “Mayhap. But is it not so that you ought to leave the murder for the authorities..” he muttered in answer. “Oh, please, Cam! I swear I won't ask for anything else for five years!” Emmy begged him and oddly enough, that was what did it for Cam; He'd always had a soft spot for this human girl, thus he nodded. Emmy smiled triumphantly and started looking.
There was blood all over the place. What seemed to have been a white wedding dress was now completely red and brown and the woman who must have been extremely beautiful before death had an empty look in her eyes and a face set in a terrified expression and her muscles were stiff. Emmy looked at her for quite a long time before deciding that she should get someone adult to look at her before animals would start eating the body. She was sure that the body would work as evidence for whatever killed it on its own, too, but she couldn't be sure. She waved Cam to her and stated that it was time to go. They went to look for any adult to come and take a look.
Someone was sitting on the roof of the Church of Hope. He smiled as he looked at the girl he'd been told to watch after. She's greatly curious, he thought to himself, and she seems fearless, too. His smile widened and his steel grey eyes seemed to get some sort of warmth in them. Obviously, according to the rules of guardian angels, he shouldn't have let the girl go to the body but he truly didn't care the least bit about the rules. His white hand went through his short, curly and raven hair as he considered his options before deciding to follow the girl he was supposed to protect. He spread his midnight-blue wings and leaped to the skies.
Emmy and Cam ran to the Police station where Emmy made constable Thomas McGillian come with her to the church. McGillian followed her but thought this was all just a child's game, in which he was supposed to play along, until they reached the church and he saw just what horrors the child had found less than an hour ago. He looked like he was going to faint when he saw all that blood and that's when he pulled his phone from his pocket and called reinforcements to help him with the crime scene before starting to ask Emmy questions such as had she touched anything on the scene and if she'd seen the woman ever before. She answered no to almost all of the questions but was capable of giving incredible details about what she had seen in there. Later McGillian sent Emmy home and truly thought, like only a man with no children can, that she would actually do as she was told to.
She ran up the hill with Cam and then stopped with a lot of curiosity in her eyes. “Why didn't he see you?” she asked Cam, who shrugged and muttered something about magic protecting him from the prying eyes. “But what would they do to you if they could see you?” Emmy asked with even more inquisitiveness in her voice. “I don't know. Mother says that humans are afraid of what they can't control or what is different from them”, Cam answered making Emmy very confused but she nodded, as if she could understand what was said to her. They went to the woods to play hide and seek and whilst they were there terrible things happened in the village of Medley.
Not long after the police forces – that would be 5 officers – had asked their questions and taken photos of the crime scene, it started raining drops as big as a young child's fist. The rain escalated into a thunderstorm. It started to get windy as the storm got worse and worse. Lightning stroke multiple times setting places on fire. The wind got faster and faster as it howled through the village picking whatever it wished to into it's embrace. No one dared to go outside and not a single soul knew who would be alive and who would die during the storm. It was terrible, magical and, oddly enough, enchanting but the last two only afterwards. It went on for hours and then as suddenly as the rain had started, everything went still. People came away from their hiding places and went out to see what damage they ought to fix. Some houses had burned down, but the people from most of those had ran for cover to other houses. But one family hadn't. The Newbury-home had burned down and had become only smoking ruins and no one knew where Emmy was.
During the storm Emmy had been in a cave in the forest with Cam, meeting fairies and gnomes and she hadn't had a clue of what was happening outside nor of the time that had passed while she was there. All that only because a spell had been cast to keep her safe. It was Cam who first told her that she should go home to her family. It was Cam who told Emmy that there had been a storm outside for hours and hours again and that was what sent Emmy running as fast as she could for her home. But it was all too late. No one could have saved the Newbury-family. The villagers expressed their sorrow for Emmy's loss, but none would take her to their home and hearts. She was put up for adoption.
Three years passed swiftly as Emmy worked her way through schools and foster-homes, keeping in touch with Cam. Three long years before three beautiful women walked through the door of the orphanage. Their names were Aara, Wena and Maevy. Aara was a tall woman with porcelain skin, flaming red hair and intensive blue eyes which broke off to purple. Wena was a petite brunette where as Maevy was like a mischievous pixie with her short black hair and spring green eyes. And they ended up pointing at Emmy when they were asked whom would they wish to adopt. Three years, before a young girl was given a home but this home was no ordinary residence and the femmes no ordinary femmes. They were witches and their home was a coven. They took Emmy into their hearts and raised her as their own, teaching her everything they knew – Even a bit of magic. She was a mystery to them, but they loved her a lot. That is where she lived until she turned seventeen and moved to another city to start in an university of the Supernaturals..

                                                         ***

As always, leave a comment and tell me your thoughts What could be better, what's just right, is it interesting, is there faults in my English.. Whatever you think is worth mentioning!

Ravena Black (part 1)

So this here is something I created not all that long ago, it's set in the same world as 3 other stories I'm actually working on at this very moment. Each of these stories tells a story of a person within that world and they're all linked to each other through somethings within them; Some of these links are harder to find than others, but if you keep your eyes and ears open you'll find them, eventually.


                          ***

I am the murderess known by the name Ravena Black and by the time you read this, I'll be long gone but I had to do this final thing in order to pay for all the things I did in this land. I never knew before if saying things the way they are would matter but for this once I've decided to give you the world as it was at the time, instead of as I wished it was. I will give you the story and I will try to keep my own voice hidden. Don't try to find me after you've read this, for it'll be too late. This is the story of a girl who then grew up to be a murderess and her name was Ann Blair. Life in the city of Nova wasn't good for Ann because she was a pretty but orphaned child. She had had to learn the ways of the street at a very young age and her innocence wasn't spared by anything or anyone in the city. But this is not the beginning of the story – Let me take you to the beginning.
A summer night, a back-alley and a brown cat on the stone pavement. The city of Nova is asleep around it apart from those who inhabit the darkest alleys and whose dealings wouldn't make it in the sunlight. This is where the story began, all those years ago. To someone looking from the other end of the alley, what was going on there looked like a meeting of rather odd people but it was nothing like that. Those odd people were thieves of the notorious gang of Pickpocket-Jack and Pickpocket himself was giving them all instructions as to what were their roles during that week in their ring of thievery. You see, at that time the multiple thief-gangs of Nova had divided the city into sections and each gang had its own. Pickpocket's gang had the mid-town because they were the fastest with their hands and never got caught.
After sharpening her claws few nights back, Ann Blair, who wasn't more than fifteen summers old and yet almost as cunning as the rest of the thieves on the alley, had been accepted into the group. Most of the gang thought it was because Pickpocket fancied her, but it was nothing like that. Ann had managed to pick the pockets of Jack and having to join the gang had been Jack's way of punishing her. She didn't think it was a punishment, apart from perhaps the fact that she had to give a percentage of each of the pickings to the gang which would give a percentage of all of their treasury to the master thieves each week. If a gang didn't perform well enough, they might have their area moved to some other gang and that, could be like a death penalty, especially if you had an area like the Pickpocket-gang did – One that really made money.

     ***

I feel like adding "To be continued" here, but we all know the story will continue. Leave a comment below and tell me what you think!

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Their world; Part 1

 So, this is the first part of this story that I am going to give you all; If you have anything you think could be better than it is, please let me know! Enjoy! ^^


Their world - Part 1



The world out there is big and gruesome. It will eat you alive and not regret doing so”, were the first and last words of our father. Those words said nothing and everything at once. If you lived like we do, the words would mean the world to you. They would be your guideline to everything you were to do. But you do not live like we do. And none of it has any kind of meaning to you. To me they were the world, to me they meant love, they meant danger, they meant hatred while they also meant death. They would be my saviour and my death-sentence. Where I lived, there was love and hatred all at once. No one trusted anyone, but yet still anyone could love everyone. It was a freakish little circle of our own. We enjoyed it to the fullest while we never truly got anywhere beyond it. It was everywhere and nowhere. We had made our home on top of a square hill. There were flames that would burn all night and a blue lizard standing behind a glass crying to the moon. There, underneath the flames, we camped and lived all our lives until Death came to get us. Then, we would find new life beyond the edge of our mountain as our family threw us to our final resting place. That was the end, all there was to it.
       Our father was dead and gone. His first and last words rang in my head. They seemed to be killing me slowly from inside. I walked around in squares, trying to find a way out of who I was and who I should be. But I didn't seem to succeed. I didn't want to close my eyes for nothing nor did I wish to cry. But my eyes did not stay dry as I thought of our father and his miserable life. That life had been no life and it was the kind where he didn't leave our square-cliff to see the world, because of the words his father had told him a billion times, the words he then repeated to me and made me learn by heart. I had always hated the phrase and the certainty it was requested with. I would always hate it, but yet still, I would always and for an eternity love our father. I would love our home, the white square we lived on. I would love the view I saw from it. All grey on one side, and brown at one of the ends. But there, beyond those. There was life, wasn't there. It was just waiting to be grasped, waiting to be held on to. Waiting to be found. There was the world. And it was waiting for me. If only I could get to it.
      I scream at the mountains: “Tell me something I haven't heard, sing a song that no one knows, make me laugh at a joke that doesn't exist.. Just give me something new..!” But no one responds my calls, no one does what I'd need the most. So I continue my route of thinking even further.
Many of us try to hide our pain, tell ourselves we are happy, put on a fake smile and scream inside, waiting to be found. But in the end we have to realize that hiding the pain makes it worse. The worst type of regret is the kind you feel when you know you can say something, but you don't. It's true it seems easier to wait for strength and dreams, but the imprints will always be there. Pain can be a beautiful thing, because it lets us understand the suffering of others, but none should have to suffer. None should need to suffer. Yet still we suffer. Sometimes more than on other times. Tonight I suffered alone, for I would not ask my family to pray with me for our father. They said that he was gone and left it at that. I merely hoped he wouldn't be restless in his death. I had thought that he was smart, but perhaps, just perhaps he was wise, too. But there's a line between wise and smart, thou to a person who doesn't wish to see that line, it might not even exist. There is also a line between being dumb and just being different, this line too, ceases to exist to a person who doesn't want it to exist. And if we go down this line of speech; being weird and different is just normal, but I don't think many people want to see that either.. There's so much we deny, just because we don't want it to exist. Too much. And yet still too little.
      There, I stop for a moment, to look beyond our world. Our cliff. Maybe I could go and see the world one beautiful day. Maybe I could learn about the world, the differences and the scary things there. I'd like to learn everything. Is that too much to ask? “Yes”, the world whispers to me and I close my eyes yet again. There's so many things in this god-forsaken world I'd want and so many things I'd need. So many times I've closed my eyes and dreamed of my future, the one I have always known shall never be mine. So then and there, my eyes often open up with that sting of pain from my heart making them hurt more than they ever should. It hurt me a lot and I'm sure it will hurt me yet again. But I didn't know where to go nor what to do, so I never left and always stayed. Some day, I am sure of it, these thoughts would take the best of me and destroy me. The world would still spin, like it always has, merely without me. I had hoped and still, in a way, do that when it would be my turn to go, I would do it with pride and nothing less. I would be what I was needed to be, even if it was going to kill me slowly.
      “Brie!” someone shouts out, I had known they'd come looking for me. “I'm here”, I answer, but not quite as loudly. Now they had found me, what they would do with the knowledge was completely up to them. I hear that person's steps. I know it would be one of my sisters. The way of walking gave out her name to me soon enough. Elise, the youngest and most silent of us all. I knew she'd make me questions as to why I was here instead of back home completing my duties of taking care of our mother and the rest of our family. My understanding of her questions, would of course, be very small like always. She always spoke with words that made no sense to me for she was a lot smarter than I would ever be. I would grow weary of it and then she would give me that look and I would do as she told me to.

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